We Want What We Can't Have

I suppose poor people want to be rich and rich people want to be free and the free want to be married and the happily married with kids just seem to want a little peace and quiet, well, this is all according to my dad - he says we want what we can't have.

Me? I just want a blue cookie.

Honestly, I am not even sure where I got the idea, but the blue cookie has been the apple of my eye for as long as I have been able to talk. Granted, I was an early talker, but I have to tell you, I have been eye balling that golden ticket for a long time.

I have a soy and dairy allergy. If you are reading these words for the first time, they may not have the impact that they should, so I will say it again: if there is dairy or soy inside something I can not eat it. You may be a little annoyed by having been told the same thing twice, if that's you, you might want to stop reading now. No soy. No dairy. 

Cheese, ice cream, sandwich meat, mac n' cheese, pizza, any sliced bread that doesn't taste like feet, any meat from a restaurant, every seasoning package for every tasty stew, every soup in every can, everything that has nuts is also processed in a factory that processes soy, every cookie, cake, ding dong, Twinkie, and sugar filled kids party treat of any kind, if it comes in a package that makes a crinkly noise - the universal calling card for junk food sound - it has soy in it, I can't eat it. If it says yum yum, sweetness, or "kid approved" it has dairy in it - I can't eat it. More or less, if it comes off the aisle that every mom tries to avoid in the grocery store, it is a no go. 

Have you ever been to a no soy no dairy kids birthday party? Yeah. Me neither. They don't make 'em. So my mom has to cringe and follow me around at every little kid gig to make sure some 3 year old smuggler doesn't slip me a Cheeto when nobody is looking. At my pre-school they have my mugshot on the wall above the lunch cart like a post office wanted sign to heads-up any substitute teacher not to offer me milk and graham crackers - one is dairy the other has soy.

Apparently, if it comes in a box to make life easy for a chef on the go, it is filled with soy so the guy who made the box can earn an extra buck. So, in my house, everything is made from scratch. That may sound gourmet, but I'm not going to lie: my dad does all the cooking, and he only knows how to cook 4 meals, so it is leftovers 3 nights a week and no variety 365. I love the man, but I am buying him a cookbook for his birthday this October, then I am going to give him two months to figure out how to whip up a soy free dairy free blue cookie by Christmas.

A girl can dream.