Ok, so here is the deal, I am one hundred percent sure that my parents were well meaning when they found this horse camp. I am sure my mom researched it online, checked Megan's Law records for the thirty miles surrounding the ranch; I'll bet she called ahead and asked about food; and I am quite certain my parents neither slept the night before I left for camp nor could they sit still for a moment after they dropped me off. Look, don't tell them I said so, but they can both be a bit high maintenance.
So, horse camp.
To begin, it is a 45 minute drive one way to the middle of nowhere. The sign on the corner of the fence says, Sugar Ditch Stables, but I'll tell you it could have been called out in the middle of nowhere, dusty, dirty and kinda stinky-town. My parents dropped me off at 8:30 AM each morning for a week, and on Monday, I only knew two things: 1st - Elliot, my best friend from Pre K would be there and 2nd - I was going to ride a horse.
Well, what do you know? It is Friday night and on the way home I cried real tears: I want to go back to that dusty old stinky farm so bad it feels like I'll never want anything this bad again as long as I live. I made friends, and crafts, I felt alive and independent, I came home dirty every day wearing my shorts, tank-top and pink cowgirl boots all covered in head to toe horse dust.
We did chores and shoveled poop. We saw a chicken lay an egg (don't tell the chicken, but the ranchers said they were going to eat that egg). We all made sun catchers and bird houses. We ate together and we laughed together and we played together.
And...I met someone. Someone special. I was a little shy at first. I wasn't sure how this relationship would develop, but by Wednesday I woke up with one name on my mind; by Thursday night as I lay my head on my pillow, I could just see those big brown eyes staring back at me; and on Friday night, I cried real tears because I already miss my Suzy Q. I want a pony, not just any pony, I want my Suzy Q.
Sunday, October 1, 2017
I'd Rather Not Talk About It
I can be shy.
If you approach me without warning, if you make eye contact with the top of my head because I am staring straight down at the gap between my toes, if you think that because my dad once worked with you or my mom taught you or either of my parents know you from church, that I will respond when you speak to me: you are in for a surprise. I can lock it down. I once attended a 30 minute doctor's appointment, where I was the subject of study, and I never once spoke a word. Now, don't get me wrong, I started speaking in complete sentences at 13 months, I have got the words to articulate comprehension beyond my years. Unfortunately for you, I don't just give my words away to make anyone else feel good. After-all, I am in kindergarten, and while this spinning sphere technically revolves around the sun, I know it exists for the Daughter.
Last week, I was walking across some river rocks and I fell and I broke my arm.
There isn't that much more to tell. That single sentence pretty much sums up the facts and outside of facts, I'm not totally sure what else is pertinent here. Does it hurt? You are the adult, you've experienced, known someone who has experienced, or read up on the subject of this. You know the answer. Did I pick out the color of my cast? No, when my dad was my age and broke his arm they only had one color: plaster. Now, with the advancement of technology, they can make any color, but due to the current nature of political correctness they have to spin a wheel to determine what color you get; I was nearly stuck with paisley, but was relieved when I scored this hot pink number. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I'm not a fan of small talk, talking to strangers, or sharing personal information just because I am being asked, and apparently being a six year old girl with a hot pink cast is a magnet for all three.
The point here is, I'd rather not talk about it. A week ago I had no cast, I was just a 6 year old girl who could avoid eye contact, to which, most people naturally accepted as a sign that conversation was neither desired nor necessary. A first attempt at any of the above mentioned activity could be dissuaded by staring at my feet and zipping my lip, because, to be honest, most adults would give up on the sheer basis of lack of common grounds. Unfortunately, I now seem to have a big sign hanging around my neck saying, "Hey, check me out, I think you and I may have some common ground here, let's chat: do you have a daughter or a neighbor about my age who has also undergone a similar trauma to the one you assume I am experiencing? Do you have a life story that you could share with me that may ease the burden you assume I am carrying? Do you have any personally probing questions I could answer for you about my dexterity, whether or not my pain registry is normed with yours, or might you have a jocular and far fetched situation you'd like to suggest in an attempt to explain my current situation? Step right up, don't take the lack of eye contact, the tight lipped silence or the hiding behind my dad's leg as a sign that you are making me uncomfortable, you just keep on asking until you get what you need." I did mention that it is a big sign.
So, I broke my arm, it hurt for a bit and the cast is uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as spending the next 4 weeks with a grown up magnet dangling in a sling!
If you approach me without warning, if you make eye contact with the top of my head because I am staring straight down at the gap between my toes, if you think that because my dad once worked with you or my mom taught you or either of my parents know you from church, that I will respond when you speak to me: you are in for a surprise. I can lock it down. I once attended a 30 minute doctor's appointment, where I was the subject of study, and I never once spoke a word. Now, don't get me wrong, I started speaking in complete sentences at 13 months, I have got the words to articulate comprehension beyond my years. Unfortunately for you, I don't just give my words away to make anyone else feel good. After-all, I am in kindergarten, and while this spinning sphere technically revolves around the sun, I know it exists for the Daughter.
Last week, I was walking across some river rocks and I fell and I broke my arm.
There isn't that much more to tell. That single sentence pretty much sums up the facts and outside of facts, I'm not totally sure what else is pertinent here. Does it hurt? You are the adult, you've experienced, known someone who has experienced, or read up on the subject of this. You know the answer. Did I pick out the color of my cast? No, when my dad was my age and broke his arm they only had one color: plaster. Now, with the advancement of technology, they can make any color, but due to the current nature of political correctness they have to spin a wheel to determine what color you get; I was nearly stuck with paisley, but was relieved when I scored this hot pink number. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I'm not a fan of small talk, talking to strangers, or sharing personal information just because I am being asked, and apparently being a six year old girl with a hot pink cast is a magnet for all three.
The point here is, I'd rather not talk about it. A week ago I had no cast, I was just a 6 year old girl who could avoid eye contact, to which, most people naturally accepted as a sign that conversation was neither desired nor necessary. A first attempt at any of the above mentioned activity could be dissuaded by staring at my feet and zipping my lip, because, to be honest, most adults would give up on the sheer basis of lack of common grounds. Unfortunately, I now seem to have a big sign hanging around my neck saying, "Hey, check me out, I think you and I may have some common ground here, let's chat: do you have a daughter or a neighbor about my age who has also undergone a similar trauma to the one you assume I am experiencing? Do you have a life story that you could share with me that may ease the burden you assume I am carrying? Do you have any personally probing questions I could answer for you about my dexterity, whether or not my pain registry is normed with yours, or might you have a jocular and far fetched situation you'd like to suggest in an attempt to explain my current situation? Step right up, don't take the lack of eye contact, the tight lipped silence or the hiding behind my dad's leg as a sign that you are making me uncomfortable, you just keep on asking until you get what you need." I did mention that it is a big sign.
So, I broke my arm, it hurt for a bit and the cast is uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as spending the next 4 weeks with a grown up magnet dangling in a sling!
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